Meeting New People

Yesterday I met a lady who is going through the same things we the elderly go through. She has been a productive member of society and now she is trying to cope with what to do with her life. She has no car, small apartment with little furniture, and lives on social security. She has to depend on others to take her to appointments and other events she may want to attend. Wonderful lady. Bright, beautiful, but has fallen into that trap of depression that living a life you no longer understand brings to most people. She even describes herself as being a positive person. She is religious, so she has that to fall back on. We had a long talk and she was able to give me a overview of what she was feeling and how it was effecting her. She is seeing a therapist for her depression, but I wonder what a therapist can do if the core problem has to do with the loss of her identity as an individual. We are trying to be the same person we were when we had the world by the tail. But now because of age, out thoughts and knowledge are no longer relevant. I understand the next generation must learn the lessons, but why did we learn this knowledge if we are to be thrown aside as though our knowledge has no value. Please comment on your concerns as an older person or questions that perhaps together we can answer. This blog was created not to give answers, but to be a comfort to those who read it, knowing you are not alone in your feelings. Its a place of hope and companionship for us all. Also a place to vent, so vent, if that makes you feel better. This is a site of complete acceptance. No judgement. So feel safe.

The Good the Bad and The ugly

Today was in many ways a great day, in other ways not so great. For several days I have had an infected tooth. Causing me much pain. Were it not for antibiotics I would not have made it through. In desperation I called my friend who is a dentist and he gave me a time to come in to look at my tooth. I knew it needed to come out, but did not know if he could do it or if I would need and oral surgeon to dig it out. As it turned out, He was able to pull it with no problem. I have no insurance, so he did all that work free of charge. Not only that.... set me up with another appointment to do other work in my mouth that should not wait. How great is that? A good day by any standard. Then I get home and have some lunch and decide I wanted to make and apple crisp. I had all the ingredients and was half way done when my daughter in law came in asking me what I was doing. What I was doing? As though I had to explain my right to be there. I said I was making and apple crisp. She said well,..... I wanted to make cookies for work. I assured her that what I was doing would only take 20 mins. She seemed like I should have asked permission to use the kitchen because her stuff had greater priority than mine. Perhaps it did, but there is another example of being pushed off to the side, because the younger generations life projects are more important than anything the older generation has to do. After all they are the 40 year olds who now run the country with there know it all attitude. So what started out as a good day has ended again, in my feeling like I am an intruder in my own home. After all I was the one who sacrificed everything I own to get them to this place in time, and now I am the intruder.

Respecting The Elderly

As I have gotten older I am witnessing a trend that disturbes me. That is the stuffing of the elderly into obscurity. Literally putting them in homes for someone else to deal with, or worse putting them in your own home and forgetting about them.
This group of elderly were the Teachers, the Coaches, the Presidents of Corporations,Doctors, Lawyers, the best of the best left to rot in obscurity,because they had seemingly out lived their usefulness.
When in reality these should be the ones teaching the youth concepts that have been lost, because something new came along.Time after time this new generation has to reinvent the wheel when all they had to do was ask.
The most frustrating thing is ........your thoughts, your ideas, your knowledge is pounced upon, ridiculed, and disrespected.
You are no longer of value, even though multitudes of people sought you out for your knowledge. Even though others outside this sphere of disrespect, still think you are of much value. Your thoughts are important, your ideas have merit. There comes a hopelessness that pervades the spirit. A wound that is so deep, no doctor can fix. A knife of abandonment that has cut open the heart that once served all with an openness and love that all who were near basked in the aura of that love. That love is cut off from the very people who would or could benefit the most.
When the respect is taken away from the hearts waiting to open up and share. The reason for living is taken away and what is left is long hours of waiting for death or a new life. The old life is gone, buried like garbage. Taken out with the trash. The lives you have touched, or things you have accomplished mean nothing.
Who will remember you, each of us has put our mark on the wall of life, hoping we have made a difference. Who,will remember that we still live?